


Entries for the Damned, Thoughts of The Righteous Man

by SnotPipe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel is Autistic, Coming Out, Dean Winchester Has ADHD, Dean Winchester Has OCD, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Diary/Journal, Drug Use, Embarrassed Dean Winchester, F/M, Fear, Found Family, He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Sam Winchester, Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, POV First Person, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitution, Protective Dean Winchester, Proud Dean Winchester, Slightly Out Of Character, Underage Drinking, sam winchester has autism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:42:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29795556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnotPipe/pseuds/SnotPipe
Summary: I'm writing this as if it was Dean Winchester writing in his journal. So, I hope you like it.FIRST-PERSON POV
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Cassie Robinson/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Lincoln Lee/Dean Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Entries for the Damned, Thoughts of The Righteous Man

_January 24, 1995._

_Entry ~~two~~ ~~.~~ **ONE**_

Okay... so I guess I have to write something? I'm not sure, but I think this is a nice gift from Sammy. ~~My dad~~ John didn't get me anything this year, or any year for that matter, but hey, the old man tries his best.

He's sending me on my first hunt for my birthday so he can spend time with Sammy, I hope he's not doing what he would do with me.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be hunting, he didn't give me any details other than supposed spirits. it's whatever.

I'll write in here after the hunt I guess?

* * *

**_after the hunt._ **

I **HATE** him. I cant believe him, how could he? on my fuckin birthday! they just wanted to be happy. i had to kill these women for being happy. ~~I think he knows I like boys.~~ I don't even know why he would do this to me.

Maybe I made him too angry, then again, when don't I make him angry? i just want him to be proud of me, y'know? like I want him to go play catch with me, be a real dad. ~~If he cared enough~~ If he let me, I could be on the school's baseball team, or like the football team.

i don't even like sports.

I almost died tonight, that isn't important though, I just felt like I had to write that down.

My mom would tell me I have angels watching over me, but why do they let this happen to me? for what? growth? bullshit. **_BULLSHIT!_** if the angels even fucking cared ~~my dad wouldn't hit me.~~ i wouldn't have gotten hurt tonight. god, I'm just so angry and sad.

I almost died so my dad could get time with Sammy? I mean I'm happy he cares about Sammy, I am, I really mean that. but why doesn't he want to spend time with me? 

I'm sorry, I sound like such a chick. I shouldn't even be writing in this stupid book. what is the point? "get things off my chest?" yeah, that's a chic thing to do. I need to keep everything in and die with it.

i really hope my dad doesn't find this. hed call me a queer, fruitcake, faggot and he would beat it out of me. so, I best keep it hidden.

So, SAMMY IF YOU FIND THIS IM GOING TO BE SO PISSED!

Sometimes i just get so angry, you know? like uh, i get so angry i hit my head over and over and i rearrange the place were staying in and i hit walls and kids at school. i really dont mean to. 

dad is leaving tomorrow, so its just me and sammy again. I'm glad.

Um, I guess I'm done writing for now? maybe I'll write in this again. maybe.


End file.
